Author: YoLa

On this journey through life I am encouraged by FAITH, FOOD, FASHION and FRIENDSHIP!

Failure…Don’t Stop There

YoLa

Hey Style of Lifers!! I know you are probably saying, “Don’t ‘hey’ us, where you been?” Lol. For most of you and for myself 2020 was a tough year! And honestly I just had to reflect, process, and relinquish whatever plans I thought I had. One of the biggest things that I’ve had to overcome in the past and then revisit currently is failure. Often times failure feels like a door that has been slammed in your face, never to be opened again. But failure, just like doors, may require you to knock again, use a different key, or to find another door. Failure isn’t where your journey ends, it’s where true opportunity begins.

KNOCK AGAIN! Sometimes failure happens to test your resilience. I know it’s really cliche but, if at first you don’t succeed try try again. If behind that door was the path to your greatness, would it be worth a second knock? I encourage you to muster up enough courage to knock again. When the door opens after knocking again, you will appreciate that door and the opportunities it will provide for your future. Your lesson won’t be about the open door, but unlocking the power of your resilience by way of knocking again.

USE A NEW KEY! Often times we have our success down to a formula. We know exactly how much, time, effort, and planning is required for us to yield the results we desire in our personal, professional and spiritual lives. But what happens when what you have always used to succeed just doesn’t work? Failure might show us that it’s time to take a different approach entirely. And if we experienced failure while going to the next level, we have to stop and recognize that we are walking into another set of doors. Doors that can’t be opened using old keys. New keys can be new perspective, new strategies, new networks, and a new approach to the areas of your life where you have experienced failure. New keys provide new access, new responsibilities, and new opportunities.

FIND ANOTHER DOOR! Ok soooo….I’ve knocked again, I’ve changed my key and the DOOR STILL WON’T OPEN. Continuing to experience setbacks can be frustrating and discouraging. It is possible that these signs are telling you, “This is not the door for you.” So now what? This is the time when you reset and explore other opportunities that allow you to live out your purpose. Once you find those alternative doors in your life you can expand your perspective, focus on what is ahead, and master the lessons that previous failures have taught you.

I share all this to say, failure is nothing more than a door of opportunity. Whether you have to knock again, get a new set of keys, or find another door all together, you will be better as a result of experiencing failure. It may not feel like it instantly, but time will reveal that failure, just like success, is necessary for greatness. Your homework this time around is to write down the experiences in your life that felt like failure, and how did you turn them into success? If you did it before, you can do it again!

We all have to live our life, why not do it with boldness and balance? That my friends is the STYLE OF LIFE!

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.”

Matthew 7:7

Colorful Quarantine Quick Fits

YoLa

Hey Style of Lifers!! They say that your style says who you are without you having to speak. My style and what I wear day to day is so driven by how I feel. I say so much of what I feel by how I dress. When I was a kid my mom used to make me lay my clothes out the night before a school day. It was great for time management (because I was not a morning person), but I couldn’t imagine doing that as often now. Getting dressed is an experience lol! I get to push my own limits, examine myself, and see myself evolve right before my own eyes. This quarantine has kept us home for the last few months but here are some Quarantine Quick Fits (outfits) packed with bold colors.

Playful jumpsuits and rompers are always a comfortable and sassy way to make a statement. Whether you choose a bold color, print, or combination of both, pair it with a stacked heal, waist belts, and a funky headpiece. I love jumpsuits and rompers because, like dresses, once you put it on all you have to do is accessorize!

I found this cute two piece mustard set at a local thrift store! Two piece coordinate sets are great during quarantine because you can dress it up or dress it down. I chose to pair it with a polka dot purse and a mule, but this could easily pair well with a cross body bag and a sneaker.

I love a good button down shirt and this one I wore with a pair of shorts. I know we are quarantine but this would be a great look for outside dining. I had a cream purse and a clear and rainbow snakeskin mule for some subtle flair, (I know, how do you do flair in a subtle way? lol). You could do this look with a polka dot, floral, and even a seersucker print.

This pretty in pink look was one of my favorite outfits. So simple to put together, the top is a bodysuit and I wore it with a pair of wide legged hot pink pants. And I took a page from my youth and wore a pair of jellies with this look since I was at a picnic. I went simple with my necklace by wearing a choker since my hair was in an updo.

Your homework this week, is to put together a colorful quarantine quick fit! Go ahead and follow @the.styleoflife on Instagram so I can like and share your stylish fits! Have fun and remember let your style do the talking!

We all have to live our life, why not do it with boldness and balance. That my friends is the STYLE OF LIFE!

“To give them beauty for ashes, The oil of joy for mourning, The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; That they may be called trees of righteousness, The planting of the LORD, that He may be glorified.” -Isaiah 61:3 (NKJV)

Black Life Matters.

YoLa

Hey Style of Lifers! Ok, I know y’all peeped that there was no post in May, but to be honest my heart was just heavy. Did you do your homework from April? Are you a F.A.I.R. friend? Is everyone in your circle of friends F.A.I.R.? I guess I left out the question of, are the systems around us in this country fair? Maybe it’s because our past and present times have consistently answered that question with a hard and definite, NO. What’s ironic is the coronavirus attacks the respiratory system, but there are people in our country that haven’t contracted it, that still CAN’T BREATHE…So now I have to ask, what matters?

BLACK LIFE MATTERS…We should assume that all facets of a person’s life matter. Right now, we need this country and its systems to be concerned with black life.  Not just the physical life of blacks in America, but our life in its entirety. When a black life is taken, we, as a people, are affected mentally, socially, emotionally, politically, spiritually, and even financially. I don’t have the answers, what I can offer is encouragement. Continue to speak out, continue to protest, continue to educate yourselves, continue to build stronger communities, continue to hold our legislators and allies accountable, continue to cry, continue to vent, and continue to pray because #BLACKLIVESMATTER. BLACK LIFE MATTERS.

Black Lives Matter. Black Families Matter. Black Men Matter. Black Women Matter. Black Fathers Matter. Black Mothers Matter. Black Children Matter. Black Communities Matter. Black Faith Matters. Black Voices Matter. Black Healthcare Matters. Black Mental Health Matters. Black Education Matters. Black Finances Matter. Black Businesses Matter. Black Professionals Matter. Black Protestors Matter. Black Love Matters. Black History Matters. Black Futures Matter. BLACK LIFE…IT MATTERS…

We all need to live our life, so why not do it with boldness and balance? That my friends is, the STYLE OF LIFE!

“But you are a CHOSEN RACE, a royal priesthood, a consecrated nation, a [special] people for God’s own possession, so that you may proclaim the excellencies [the wonderful deeds and virtues and perfections] of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light.” -1 Peter 2:9 (AMP)

Thank You For Being A Friend

YoLa

**Clears Throat** Thank you for being a friend, traveled down a road and back again, your heart is true, you’re a pal and a confidant….#DropsMic…

Hey Style of Lifers! How have you been managing in this COVID-19 pandemic?! It’s my hope that everyone has been safe and well in these troubling times. I guess last month’s homework prepared us for this season of uncertainty. So did you all define what faith means to you? Do you see how in a matter of days and weeks that our faith had to be flexible to adjust to our new normals? (Told y’all faith is flexible…lol) Well, I guess you can tell by me singing the Golden Girls theme song for you that this post is about…FRIENDSHIP..You are the average of your five closest friends so make sure they are F.A.I.R.

(F)aithful. What I recognized a few years back, is that I wanted something different out of my friendships. So I can honestly say that I prayed for the friends that I have now. And they all embody this trait of being faithful. They are faithful to who I am now, and most importantly they are faithful to the woman that I desire to be. They hold me accountable to my hopes, dreams and aspirations even when I don’t feel like it. Most importantly, they do not allow any achievement, no matter how big or small, to go un-celebrated.

(A)uthentic. Like I shared with you all in January, I had to ask myself at age 30, “Who Am I?” And for years, I did not have a clue. But having people around you that live in their truth, are unapologetic, and have built great character is important. Authenticity is something that people can feel. They can connect with it almost instantly. Authentic friends hold up a mirror to the pieces of you that are still a facade. They will make you feel and make you look at yourself to ensure that you are being true to you.

(I)nspirational. I am always motivated by people, places and things that inspire me. I appreciate that a conversation with any person can influence me, but conversations with true friends leave me inspired. In many instances that inspiration can come from their journeys, perspectives, and tenacity. That inspiration from my friends reminds me of my own role and responsibility to make an impact on this world.

(R)evolutionary. Yes REVOLUTIONARY! I believe that I have a responsibility to live, be, create, and impact the change I want to see in this world. And my friends are revolutionary in the areas of entrepreneurship, education, youth development, mental health, art, etc. It’s not enough for them to just exist in those spaces, they must take those spaces by storm and influence the lives of others.

Alright everyone so your homework is to first assess yourself, are you a F.A.I.R friend? And of course the second component of your homework is to assess your friend group. Is everyone close to you F.A.I.R? Schedule a video chat with your closest friends and have a discussion about this…Please be safe and STAY HOME…

We all need to live our life, so why not do it with boldness and balance? That my friends is, the STYLE OF LIFE!

An honest answer is like a kiss of friendship.

Proverbs 24:26 NLT

Is Your Faith Flexible?

YoLa

Hey Style of Lifers! How was your Food and Fellowship in February? I hope you had some meaningful conversations over some delicious cuisine, coupled with great ambiance. I’m sure sharing what you have found out about yourself made you feel vulnerable, (especially if you are like me and hold things inside until you have processed your thoughts and emotions). But, on the flip side I also know how rewarding and affirming it is when you share your truth(s) and receive feedback and support from family, lovers, and friends. So I’m guessing you’re wondering, WHAT’S NEXT?! Well, now that you have answered some questions about yourself and shared your truth, the next step is figuring out how to begin living out that truth. For me living my truth starts and ends with FAITH.

How do we define Faith and why is its flexibility important? Two of my favorite Webster’s Dictionary definitions of faith is “complete trust” and “without question.” As we live our truths we find ourselves in line with a purpose that has pursued us for YEARS, (some of us walked into that purpose willingly, others fought it, and some of us are still fighting it lol). Faith propels us into a purposeful life. Once you’re walking in your purpose, IT IS A ROLLERCOASTER RIDE! And you find yourself having to completely trust your life’s purpose, without questioning how it will all work out. You are stretched beyond your comfort zone, sometimes you want to quit, but that’s when your faith becomes flexible.

At the beginning of this year you either established some version faith for the first time, returned to your faith, re-defined your faith, or even became uncertain about what to have faith in. Honestly, I have found myself in the “ALL OF THE ABOVE” category with regards to faith. What I have learned is, as I grow and experience trials and triumphs, my faith is constantly being reshaped. Faith is flexible like that, y’all. Our lives and our truths are changing, and so we all need a faith that has the ability to shift and adapt right along with us. Ok, so your homework is to define what faith means to you. How have you been challenged in your life and what role did flexible faith play in that change? What does your faith look like in practice? (prayer, meditation, positive self-talk, therapy, attend church, etc,) Build consistency in cherishing and practicing your faith daily.

We all need to live our life so why not do it with boldness and balance? That my friends is, the STYLE OF LIFE!

Dear friends, I’ve dropped everything to write you about this life of salvation that we have in common. I have to write insisting–begging!–that you fight with everything you have in you for this faith entrusted to us as a gift to guard and cherish.

Jude 1:3 (MSG)

Food and Fellowship

YoLa

Food and Fellowship for the Culture

Hey Style of Lifers! How was your first month of 2020? Did we do our homework from last month? Did you answer the question, “Who Am I?” Like I promised you, this blog is going to talk about my favorite things that came from me starting to answer that question for myself. So, FEBRUARY is all about FOOD!!!!

Food and Fellowship are such a perfect pair. They go together like verses and hooks; I mean you can technically have one without the other, but it just doesn’t flow the same way. Since February is the month that we acknowledge Black History and Culture and Love, we must recognize the role that food plays in the art of celebration.

Food helps us return to our roots. I remember food and fellowship for me started with Sunday dinners and holidays with all of grandma’s recipes. That food and fellowship shaped the woman I am today. It was during Sunday dinner and holidays that family history, secrets, laughs and prayers were shared. Like most, my childhood was spent at the kids table, when I got into high school and college I was trusted with adult conversations about my family’s history and my grandma’s recipes. This is where my passion for cooking was birthed. My father and grandma would taste test my cooking to see if I had, “IT.” (And early on when I didn’t, they would quickly grab the pan and ask me to step aside…lol) This was my Black History and Culture! So, what’s your first memory of Food and Fellowship? How did it shape you then, and how does it shape you now?

I. LOVE. FOOD. Whether it’s cooking for myself or others or sitting down and enjoying a meal at my favorite restaurant, when LOVE is the first ingredient it makes every meal perfect. This month friends, family, and couples will be celebrating their love for one another, more than likely with some food! Try a restaurant with a great menu and ambiance. Here are some of my Top 5 Favorite restaurants in NYC and they were spotlighted during Restaurant Week!

  1. Tao (Downtown or Uptown)- Asian Fusion https://taodowntown.com
  2. STK (Downtown or Midtown)- Steakhouse https://stksteakhouse.com/venues/nyc-downtown/
  3. Red Rooster Harlem- American Cuisine/Soul Food https://www.redroosterharlem.com
  4. Legasea-Seafood http://moxytimessquare.com/dining/legasea-seafood-brasserie/
  5. Ayza-Wine and Chocolate Bar https://ayzanyc.com

Last month, you had to answer the question of who you are. This month I challenge you to share what you have learned about yourself over a meal with someone you love. That “someone” can be a friend, lover, or family member. Allow yourself to be vulnerable, see if any of your findings catch others by surprise. Share with others how you started this journey and why. Your journey has the potential to inspire others. Whether you are setting a table for one, two, or a few, remember that your story matters.

We all need to live our life so why not do it with boldness and balance? That my friends is, the STYLE OF LIFE!

Day after day they met in the temple [area] continuing with one mind, and breaking bread in various private homes. They were eating their meals together with joy and generous hearts.

Acts 2:46 AMP

The Style of Life

YoLa

2020 Faith. Food. Fashion. Friendship.

Happy New Vision Year!!!

I’m excited to share my journey with you! The Style of Life started while I was in  a season of transition. I find myself in transition more often than I am comfortable with, but the way my God is set up, He makes me uncomfortable to push me closer to my purpose in Him. So I turned 30 years old and recognized that, while I had a booming career and I was getting ready to start a doctoral program, I had know real clue of who I was. That was so hard to admit lol. But I knew that I needed to take some time to invest in ME…Yolanda. I had so many great conversations with friends and people in my life and truthfully if you asked 7 different people who they thought I was you would get “Boss Chic or Ms. Independent” and some variation of “fashionista or fashion lover” but I was so much more than that. But only the ones closest to me knew that. So I started the Style of Life to encourage others to answer the tough questions about their personal growth and to share about the things that contribute to mine.

I AM A WOMAN OF FAITH. Faith is what keeps me grounded and I know that all of my experiences, both trials and triumphs increase my faith. Faith guides my perspective and it always has. But if I am honest, though faith is my most prized possession, it can be the hardest thing to contend for. I’ve been through seasons where my world was turned completely upside down through heartbreak, disappointments and failures and I couldn’t see what was next for me. Faith was the voice inside that reminded me “there is more to you story than this one chapter.” And through lots of conversations I recognized that people, young and old, are always seeking ways to refine or strengthen their faith. Faith is the foundation of my journey, and it’s tested and tried day by day or some times moment to moment. 

I AM A “FOODIE”. Food is what brings me nourishment, of course, but I like cooking with love and eating food that is made with creativity and tradition. During the most challenging times in my life I have made the BEST COMFORT FOOD!! lol And if let me tell it, the best business ideas, relationship convos, encouragement sessions and laughs happen over BRUNCH! I love all types of restaurants from your mom and pop small spots, to your upscale 5 star (let me put this etiquette class to use) restaurants. But I tend to meet up with my old heads at those hole in the wall joints, cuz they drop those life gems that get you ALL THE WAY together!

I AM A FASHION LOVER. Fashion became something I grew to love because I loved watching my father and grandmother get dressed. My father always taught me how to dress for my body type and my grandmother taught me how to add just the right hint of flair to a look. Being a brown skinned beauty I fell into the “let me wear safe dark colors” trap for years!! Black, brown, navy and grey lol But I dared to wear a yellow dress when I accepted an award one year and there was NO TURNING BACK! I realized for all the years of dark colors I was trying to make others comfortable with my presence. But BIG BRIGHT BOLD COLORS was a statement for me, I wanted to be comfortable with myself and others would have to adjust. Fashion is my way to be unapologetically me!

I VALUE FRIENDSHIP. The journey of friendship has been a rollercoaster ride. I have had seasons were friendships thrived, changed and even ended. In some cases I was the toxic friend, other times we just grew apart. But baby let me tell you, when you get some friendships that thrive they push you into a whole nother (yes “nother” lol) way of living! I can’t just call my friends, friends, they are like the sisters I never had! We laugh together, pray and fast together, love good fashion, food, and a good reality tv show. My friends are also not above gathering me when I need to get it together…

So for me the Style of Life is through Faith, Food, Fashion and Friendship. I realized that happiness comes with living in balance as opposed to always having to find balance when change or transition happens. The style of your life may come from things other then the four areas I have mentioned.  So this months question “Who are you?” answer this question void of your career, degrees and accolades. Identify some themes, (i.e. Faith, Family, Friends, etc) in your life that result in happiness or joy for you. 

We all need to live our life so why not do it with boldness and balance? That my friends is the STYLE OF LIFE!

I chose you before I gave you life, and before you were born I selected you to be prophet to the nations

Jeremiah 1:5

Introduce Yourself (Example Post)

YoLa

This is an example post, originally published as part of Blogging University. Enroll in one of our ten programs, and start your blog right.

You’re going to publish a post today. Don’t worry about how your blog looks. Don’t worry if you haven’t given it a name yet, or you’re feeling overwhelmed. Just click the “New Post” button, and tell us why you’re here.

Why do this?

  • Because it gives new readers context. What are you about? Why should they read your blog?
  • Because it will help you focus you own ideas about your blog and what you’d like to do with it.

The post can be short or long, a personal intro to your life or a bloggy mission statement, a manifesto for the future or a simple outline of your the types of things you hope to publish.

To help you get started, here are a few questions:

  • Why are you blogging publicly, rather than keeping a personal journal?
  • What topics do you think you’ll write about?
  • Who would you love to connect with via your blog?
  • If you blog successfully throughout the next year, what would you hope to have accomplished?

You’re not locked into any of this; one of the wonderful things about blogs is how they constantly evolve as we learn, grow, and interact with one another — but it’s good to know where and why you started, and articulating your goals may just give you a few other post ideas.

Can’t think how to get started? Just write the first thing that pops into your head. Anne Lamott, author of a book on writing we love, says that you need to give yourself permission to write a “crappy first draft”. Anne makes a great point — just start writing, and worry about editing it later.

When you’re ready to publish, give your post three to five tags that describe your blog’s focus — writing, photography, fiction, parenting, food, cars, movies, sports, whatever. These tags will help others who care about your topics find you in the Reader. Make sure one of the tags is “zerotohero,” so other new bloggers can find you, too.